A party to remember!

Over the years, I have purchased Thin Mint Girl scout cookies, silver earrings, magazine subscriptions, and vitamins to show support to my patients. I have even attended my share of Pampered Chef and Mary Kay parties. Thus, when a patient of mine informed me she was hosting "parties in the home" as a way to dig herself out of debt, I offered, "My daughter has a birthday coming up. I might be interested in hiring you to host a party."

"Really?" she beamed. "That would be great, though I warn you, I don't just do balloons and bubble gum at my parties."

Envisioning magic tricks, balloon animals, face painting, and manicures, I replied, "Great. We've already done Chuck E. Cheese, roller skating, and a mad scientist party so we're ready for something different."

She laughed nervously. "This would be different, all right."

Since I was running behind schedule, I scribbled down my E-mail address and insisted she send me more info about her parties. I then made a hasty exit.

Imagine my shock when I got home that night, opened her E-mail, and found out her "parties" sold sex toys, lingerie, and sleazy paraphernalia! Wouldn't that go over well with the parents of my ten-year-old daughter's friends!

I scrolled down further hoping to find a more kid-appropriate party. Instead, I was greeted by to a vast selection of chocolate and caramel panties, heated massage oils, garter belts, vibrators, flavored condoms, and silly sex games.

I could just picture handing all the girls a party bag stuffed with condoms, dildos, and strip poker cards. My patient had warned me her parties weren't just "balloons and bubble gum" but I sure didn't expect this! Did she seriously think I'd host such a party to ten-year-old girls?

I sent a polite response declining her offer, claiming Eliza had instead opted for a movie and sleep-over party.