The Worst Christmas Gift Ever

Think your Aunt Matilda’s Christmas sweater with cross-eyed reindeer was a loser gift? I received the worst Christmas gift ever when one of my patients marched into my office shortly before Christmas with “gifts” for my entire staff. His treasure trove included cheap bendable combs and tiny bars of soap swiped from a local motel. One staff member received a cheap plastic hospital razor guaranteed to hack a chunk out of her leg. Another received a toothbrush with bent bristles and even a speck of toothpaste in it. I got the mother lode of gifts: a pink, plastic vomit basin! (Please tell me he hadn't used it as well!) I knew he had obtained his "gifts" during a recent hospital stay because the nurse called to inquire why he needed a new toiletry kit every single day since his admission. “The guy is bald, so why does he need all those combs and shampoos?”

I know now what he was doing with his duplicate hospital toiletries--re-gifting them!