The "Hottest" Gift Ever!

Cindy, a long-term patient of mine, handed me her Christmas gift, with a huge grin plastered across her face. "Dr. Burbank, you've done so much for me over the years I just had to get you a nice gift to show my thanks." I tore off the wrapping paper and there in a Neimann-Marcus box was an adorable snowman Christmas vest, complete with matching crystal snowman earrings, and a matching turtleneck.

I oohed and aahed over her thoughtful gift, especially since I knew she survived on just the disability income she received from Social security due to her severe back injury.

How could she afford such an expensive gift on her limited income? I couldn't help but wonder. She must really think a lot of me!

As I carefully folded and re-packed the clothes into the box I said, "Cindy, these are so beautiful! You shouldn't have!"

Turns out, she didn't! She stole them! 

I found this out when several weeks later she called me bawling her eyes out because she'd been arrested for stealing clothes at, you guessed it, Neimann-Marcus! And here was the rub--she wanted me to write a letter to the judge claiming the anti-depressant I had put her on had somehow transformed her into a kleptomaniac! Right! (Can I claim my vitamin pill just made me eat two Christmas cookies?) Of all the nerve!